Don’t Judge Me – I Love Being Single


By Felicia Sabartinelli 

From the ages of 15 to 29, I was constantly coupled and in some sort of relationship. I met my high school sweetheart when we were 15 and dated until we were 18.  I met my college sweetheart shortly after and we dated for three years. We even lived together and adopted a dog. When that relationship ended, I casually dated a few people over the next few years but nothing serious. When I was 24, I met my now ex-husband. I’ve been divorced now for a few years, single again, and loving it.

I love being single. I honestly really do. I love that I can buy whatever I want without having to ask my partner if we can fit it into our budget. I love coming home and watching what I want on TV. Or eating ice cream for dinner if I damn well please because, #adulting. And when I take vacations, I can choose where I want to go and what I want to see. That probably makes me sound selfish, but there is something liberating about only having to take care of yourself. It’s freeing and peaceful, especially of the mind.

You know what else I love about being single? It’s drama-free! I listen to people around me talk/complain about their relationships and it’s exhausting.  I don’t have any of that. I don’t have to worry that so-and-so could possibly be cheating on me. I don’t have to worry that my partner spent all of our money on some new “toy” and I don’t know how were going to pay bills next month. And I don’t have to worry that my partner doesn’t appreciate me. You know, that feeling of coming home in a sexy new outfit and they would rather be playing video games. The only person I have to worry about is me.

I occasionally have to remind people that I am perfectly happy being single.  Most people want to hook me up with their son, grandson, or neighbor. Apparently being a single thirty-something also means that something must be wrong with me. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll meet someone...” always gets me fired up. I quickly remind these people that I’m not actively searching for a partner. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy taking the time to get to know me, the single me. And let me tell you, she is awesome!

Now, don’t get me wrong. If I met an amazing man tomorrow, I would be open to the possibility of dating again. But I don’t need to date or have a partner to feel fulfilled or complete. Sure, I don’t always like being the only single person at a party or wedding. Every once in a while, I miss the comfort of someone just simply being around me. Then I quickly remember that I have my entire life to be in a relationship.

Being single is like being given a really amazing gift. It’s a time of self-exploration, a time to really know and understand who you are and what your true passions are. And when you find those passions, you are meant to run after them, possibly achieving your biggest dreams and deepest aspirations. You can travel the world and see all the things that awaken the mind and heart, because this moment won’t last.

When I finally do embark on a relationship again, I’ll know that I am doing it for all the right reasons. I’ll know that a relationship is the missing piece to my puzzle. And I will enter a relationship really ready to compromise, knowing that I am 100% me and no one else. I won’t worry that I am carrying one relationship into the next. Or that I will lose my own identity in the identity of someone else. I’ll know that my relationship is about two people who have a lot of promise and love for one another. I won’t have to worry that I am settling because it’s easier than lying in an empty bed, alone. But – that moment is not right now.

So please, do not pity me for being single. Please don’t try to hook me up with your amazing brother-in-law. I’m sure he’s great and wonderful, but I’m just not interested right now. Please remember that I am enjoying my life right now and that doesn’t make me a loser, lonely, or a desperate female.  I believe that the universe will bring me together with someone when it’s the right time. Until then, watch out world, I’m coming for ya!

Felicia is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty On Tap. The views and opinions expressed in Contributing Writer articles reflect those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the site.

{featured image via unsplash}