On Growing Up, Ready Or Not


By De & Kate

Bouncing from engagement party, to bridal shower, to baby shower, to wedding, we’re reminded that we’re no longer in that fresh out of college age bracket. Of course, should the thought escape us, a 2-day hangover or invitation to attend a 10-year reunion will quickly bring us back to reality. 

During our nights out, we collectively shake our heads, remarking that it’s past our bedtime, and we are quick to acknowledge that our bank accounts and bodies will surely pay the price tomorrow. The conversation of buying homes and having kids has become commonplace, and yet we can’t help but feel like we’re somehow still playing grownup. While the thought of mortgages and mom life are each exciting, they’re also overwhelming, and we often wonder if we’ll ever feel ready. If we’ll ever feel the age we actually are, instead of preteens masquerading as 30-year-olds.

If the past is any indication of the present or our future, this probably won’t ever happen.

Because to be honest, do we ever really feel 100% ready?

Excited? Yes. Equipped? Sure. But ready? Rarely.

Perhaps that’s why we cry each time we watch the Father of the Bride driveway basketball scene and Annie Banks becomes all of us, admitting, “I know I can’t stay, but it’s like I don’t want to leave.”

It’s how we felt on our first day of college, and the familiar feeling appeared once more on our first day of post grad life. We experienced it as we signed our leases, our licenses, and packed the first and last of our moving boxes.

For lack of a better word we called this transition into the next chapter of marriage, careers, and cross country moves bittersweet. Knowing, of course, it was more than that. It was a shift from familiarity and the comfort zone we’d worked so hard to establish.

And so, as we stand on the brink of the next big plunge into the unknown, we often still feel like kids screaming out, “Ready or not, here I come.”

It’s okay if you find yourself in the “or not” piece of that statement. It’s okay not to feel ready. Even if it feels like everyone else is ready, if everyone else on your Facebook news feed has houses and kids, or at least it seems like it. You are not alone, no matter how much it feels like you might be.

It’s natural to feel a sense of apprehension before doing something new for the very first time. And beyond that, we’re not in a race to some metaphorical finish line anyway. We’ll get there when we get there, wherever there is.

In the meantime, if we can dig past our fears, doubts, and uncertainties, perhaps we’ll discover the trust, confidence, and faith that we’re more prepared than we think. Maybe we’ll grant ourselves the credit that we’ve earned. Because for all the times we would have sworn we weren’t ready, we somehow made it here. And where we are right now might have seemed overwhelming and daunting at one point to our previous selves.

Photo by Elmer Cañas on Unsplash