I Like My Last Name, And I’ll Never Change It

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By Felicia Sabartinelli

There are more women today than ever before who are opting to keep their maiden name post-wedding. Call it a trend, a feminist agenda, or whatever you want, but you can’t ignore it.

For me, I was once married. I am now divorced and have very strong opinions on why I never did, and never will change my last name. And no, it’s not because I am a feminist (which I am), or following some trend, or wanting to piss off my next husband. 

It’s because I like my last nameIt’s unique and belongs just to me. I am literally the ONLY me in the world. (Yes, I’ve looked, extensively.) I am also one of the very few remaining people with my last name, period. I come from a family that has bred mostly girls for the last 30 years and our name is dying out. It will disappear eventually, but not while I’m alive.

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I have built a career and identity around my name. I like my name, professionally and personally, it represents all that I have accomplished. And to be quite frank, I don’t see myself as a Felicia Smith or a Felicia Jones. So unless you have the coolest last name in the world, it’s not happening. Something like Felicia Consuela Banana Hammock may do.

Why should I change my last name? Because of tradition? Because a shared last name unites a family? Because it’s respectful and less confusing for everyone else? I have no problem hyphenating my name, mostly to appease a partner, but I am not going to change my last name so that my husband feels more secure about our relationship. If that’s the case, he can change his last name and join my cool Italiano club.

Also, it’s ridiculous how difficult it is to change your last name, on EVERYTHING. It’s not just your drivers license, Social Security card, and passport you have to worry about. No sir, you have to remember everything that comes in your name; billing statements, magazine subscriptions, paystubs, insurance, PayPal… everything!

And what happens if you do divorce, like I did? Then you have to change it all back, and deal with dreading another piece of mail that comes in with your married last name, or having to call and remind this place, for the one hundredth time, that you are no longer Mrs. So and So. And then they’ll ask for a copy of your divorce decree. That’s always fun.

Lastly, my name is not just a name. It is part of my identity, my history. My name is something that I take pride in, that I love to hear said aloud.  When I look in the mirror, I see myself as Felicia Sabartinelli. And that makes me smile. My name speaks volumes on who I am, what I have gone through, and what I am capable of. And I could never part with that.


Felicia is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty On Tap. The views and opinions expressed in Contributing Writer articles reflect those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the site. 

To apply to become a Contributing Writer, click HERE

{featured image via unsplash; content image provided by Felicia Sabartinelli}

2 thoughts on “I Like My Last Name, And I’ll Never Change It

  1. Felicia Sabartinelli says:

    Go for it lady! I believe we need to feel connected to our name, our entire name. And if that means going back to your maiden name, go for it! And if not, that is OK as well. I think women shouldn’t feel obligated to take the last name of their significant other. I think we should feel just as OK keeping our maiden names. It should be a personal opinion that won’t be judged by others, which I feel, can easily be misconstrued. I wish you well on what you decide, whatever that may be. 🙂 Thank you for reading! ❤

    Like

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