5 Reasons “Bad” Moms Are Winning


By Eliza David

Women are bombarded with images of motherhood and it all starts during childhood. From the very first stuffed animal tucked into our beds at night to watching our own moms make the impossible happen, women are taught that mothers “do it all” with little to no effort. It’s easy, flawless, and natural, we’re told. As we become adults, some of us become conditioned to this ideal. The pee stick turns blue and we get amped up, those images of perfection rushing back to us. Our bellies grow with life as we make promise after promise of how we’ll attend every Lamaze class, pass on the drugs in the delivery room, faithfully breastfeed until our nipples fall off (literally), and – above all – put our babies first no matter what.

Then, you give birth – and reality comes crashing down on you in the form of a nine-pound, seven-ounce bundle of expensive, crying, pooping joy.

Those first few years feel like a never-ending cycle of laundry and dishes, intermingled with potty training and reading Goodnight Moon exactly 3,495 times (ballpark). There are times you feel inadequate and the media is of absolutely no help. Television, magazines, and blogs continue to perpetuate this Perfect Mom fallacy: Are you working too much? Should you get a job? Are you breastfeeding exclusively? Cooking organically? Applying for private school? Having sex with your partner nightly? Are you Superwoman because YOU SHOULD BE SUPERWOMAN!

Sheeeeesh. It’s pure insanity birthed from the epic Mommy Wars. This fight has been going on since the Seventies and, really, what have we gained from it except unnecessary guilt?

Well, I’m starting a new Mommy War – scratch that, a Mommy Party: The Bad Mom Party. These are the moms that remember they are human beings, not robots or servants. Bad Moms are flawed. They cry, they give up, and they wake up the next morning and start the whole crazy routine over again. Still, the most important weapon in a Bad Mom’s arsenal is a sense of humor.

Having fun with motherhood is the one thing that might help you hold it together and being a Bad Mom, well…that’s as fun as it gets. So, how do Bad Moms manage to have all of the fun, you ask? In honor of the new movie Bad Moms which is coming out tomorrow, here are some ways that IRL bad moms are literally winning the motherhood game:

Bad Moms Keep Their Relationships Spicy.

It seems like after kids come into the picture, sex goes out of it. Bad Moms know that it doesn’t have to be that way. It takes work and dedication, but keeping that sensual bond with your partner helps you both face the chaos of family life with a renewed spirit. Chaos equals stress and, in my opinion, sex is the best stress reliever ever.

 Bad Moms Exude Clumsy Confidence

The hallmark of a Bad Mom is what I like to refer to as “clumsy confidence.” If she gets the bake sale notice the day before, a Bad Mom isn’t slaving away in the kitchen to make three dozen cookies that night. She wakes up (late) and grabs (GASP!) store bought cookies on the way to dropoff. Bad Moms are the ones who arrive at the office without earrings but still gets stuff done. Bad Moms leave people wondering a mix of two thoughts: “How does she do it?” and “What the hell is her problem?” Clumsy confidence – get you some!

Bad Moms Raise Respectful Kids

Children can be rays of sunshine that suddenly turn into clouds of gray – but Bad Moms know how to check that cloud immediately. Every kid has a smart mouth from time to time, but a Bad Mom’s not afraid to pull them back in line. Whether it’s at home or in the middle of aisle eight of the grocery store, a Bad Mom will check a child with the quickness. They could use the proper reserve of Clair Huxtable or let the F-bombs fly like Lois Griffin (two of TV’s best Bad Moms) – either way, their kids are going to know that disrespect will not be tolerated.

Bad Moms Require Less Validation

What I love about Bad Moms is their lack of judgement. They understand the mommy struggle and would never judge another mom for doing her best. In return, judgment slides right off of them. They shrug off the opinionated stares of others when their toddler is having a fit in the middle of Target. They ignore the “What do you do all day?” or “How can you be away from your kids forty hours a week?” questions. Bad Moms don’t need others to tell them how to parent, period. Advice is nice (when requested) but judgy-wudgy peeps need not apply.

Bad Moms Help Fellow Moms

I think my favorite Bad Mom Moment happened during Kindergarten Roundup, that time of year when preschoolers get together to get a preliminary taste of grade school madness. My second child was entering school, so I was pretty familiar with the whole process. I noticed a mother new to our school and introduced myself. After getting to know her while our children were touring the school, I gave her the lowdown. I shared secrets about the school community – who to meet, who to avoid, etc. – and she seemed to feel more at ease as our lighthearted conversation went on. We went out for drinks that weekend and have been Bad Mom Buddies ever since. Making other moms feel at home in new settings is something Bad Moms do with ease.

So unleash that Bad Mom inside of you! Be a friend, a bad influence, or an awesome mix of both. Remember, we moms are all in it together. We have one common goal: to raise loving and intelligent kids who will eventually leave our homes, have kids of their own, and turn us into Bad Grandmas!

Eliza is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty On Tap. The views and opinions expressed in Contributing Writer articles reflect those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the site.

To apply to become a Contributing Writer, click HERE

{featured image via comingsoon.net}

5 thoughts on “5 Reasons “Bad” Moms Are Winning

  1. aliasjtene says:

    I love everything about this article. I’m a “…little bit of both” kind of Bad Mom. I can be respectful, but I’m quick to check kids and adults alike. Don’t act a donkey around my little people, and in return I’m not going to allow my children to act up in front of you. Otherwise, someone will get the ClaireHanksHuxtable (if we’re in them streets), or put out (if you’re in my home). Great job again Eliza. You’re one of the BestBadMoms I know.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Robert J Maderia Sr., PhD says:

    As a testosterone charged Alpha-Male, even so, at the age of 61…I’ve become enlightened by this article, to the fact that Bad Moms are virtual Wonder Women. It appears that they have a keen sense of not being afraid to be happy…because being happy might ultimately mean, something bad will always happen. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain !!!


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