Dear Men: Here’s How To Pick Up A Woman On Tinder (From A Woman’s Perspective)


By Marie

Ah, Tinder. A sea of fish, but, like…not all the fish have great personalities. Or long-term goals. Or scales that look the same in underwater photography as they do IRL. (Okay, that metaphor might be a stretch). But, real talk, it definitely seems like some guys have NO idea what to do with themselves on Tinder. So we’re going to help you out. Here’s how to get your swiping game on point.

The Pictures

Don’t post pictures of yourself with other girls. It comes across that you’re trying to seem desirable, which means you’re a bit full of yourself. Also it appears you could easily get a girl so why bother trying to have a conversation or something more after you match? You could be on to the next girl in no time.

Pictures with friends or a group are cool and all buuuuut not so much when it’s hard to figure out which person you are. It’s also not helpful if you’re with a better looking friend. Trust me, girls will comment more on your friend than you sometimes.

The “About” Section


Post some information about yourself. It won’t hurt. Say where attended college. Mention what you do for work. Don’t say you attended the school of life or that you are working on enlightenment. You want to avoid looking like you’re not doing anything with your life, because, let’s be honest, that’s a huge turn off.

Connecting the gram


More photos = usually better. We’d like to see more your interests and hobbies. Do be careful though, and think about what’s actually ON your Instagram. Obscene pictures are actually not that great. Instead, it makes a girl swipe left quickly.

I’ve got a “Blank Space” baby…


So there’s a spot to write a little bit more about yourself. That can always be a good place to tell a joke or be quirky. This is an important section to fill out because once more it’s just a little bit more a girl can read about you. There are girls that care about height, like myself, so posting that never hurts. List a few interests or activities that you love doing at the moment. Maybe even say something you’re wanting to try out. Or just be witty and clever. That’s hot too.

Tinder is not a place to rack up followers


If you post your Instagram or Snapchat name while writing, “Follow me!” no one will take you seriously. You show that you obviously only care about a following count as if numbers on social media mean everything.

The Conversation


Yay! You matched with someone. Now it’s time to hold an actual conversation. This may be difficult, but trust me, it’s important if you want anything to happen.

Be sure to respond promptly. If you send a response a few hours later let her know you were busy with work or whatever it was that held you up. Honesty comes in handy. Also, it’s 2016, and everyone is always on their phones anyway so you did NOT “just see this now.”

Ask her questions about herself! It is pretty easy to ask questions but try to keep things interesting. Don’t just ask what she does for school/work; instead, ask why she chose that field. Don’t just ask if she likes to hike; instead, ask what hikes she’s enjoyed. Deepen the conversation and learn a bit more.

If you’re honest, respond promptly, and ask questions to hold a conversation you’ll be all set. Talk a bit before asking her to meet up for a date (or whatever you’d like to call it) so there’s a bit of background all ready established. Nothing is worse than meeting someone and barely knowing a thing about them. You waste your time with simple questions even your mom asks strangers. Instead you’ll meet as friends of sorts all ready and be able to enjoy yourselves.

Also, and this is very important, DON’T. SEND. DICK. PICS. Just don’t.

The Meet-Up


Don’t recommend going out to the club or going drinking at the bar unless that’s honestly something that the two of you have discussed doing because you both have a love of beer or clubbing. When someone says they want to meet up for drinks, my first thought is that they want to get me drunk or wasted. Granted, this may or may not be their actual intention, but the thought still occurs. I’m not saying you have to offer to take the girl out to a fancy dinner, but try to be a bit creative or new. I had a guy suggest we go for Boba because he knew the best place in town and it was wonderful. We enjoyed are drinks and spent our time having a conversation about our love of traveling and seeing the world.

Marie is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty On Tap. The views and opinions expressed in Contributing Writer articles reflect those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the site.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash