The Agony of the Ticking Biological Clock: 6 Reasons Why I (Think) I Don’t Want to Have Kids


By Christine McLean

The questions began soon after I graduated from university. Where’s the boyfriend? When are you getting married? When are you planning on giving your mother grandchildren? What are you doing with your plans for the future? It never stops! Truthfully, I did have the answers to all of these questions by the time I was about 15 years old. I had a clear vision for my future. In my naivety, I figured I would complete my medical degree and  get married to my boyfriend at 23, have my first child (a boy of course) at 25, have my second and final child (a girl) at 27, and be well on my way to financial freedom by the time I hit 30. Such grand plans. Let’s just say that nothing in my life has happened the way I planned. Life gave me a slap in the face and said, “Wake up! That’s not how this is going to work!”

I have been working as a teacher for the past four years. Dealing with these hormone-driven angels has been quite a trip. Coupling that with the horror stories I’ve heard about giving birth and what I’ve observed with people who have children,  has made me realize that my perspective on having children may have changed drastically. Yes, my biological clock is fully wound and ticking loudly in my mind. But what woman truly listens to her biological clock anyways?  These are my top six reasons for ignoring my biological clock and getting on with my life.

Children Don’t Remain Adorable Forever

Babies are absolutely adorable. Their innocence, big eyes, wide smiles, and genuine displays of affection can melt any heart. If children remained in that adorable phase forever then life would be great! Spoiler alert: they don’t. They go through this phase called the “terrible twos” where the slightest thing sends them off into a temper tantrum. Then there are the testing adolescent years. The attitudes and risky behavior of some teenagers drive their parents up the wall. There is no guarantee that my child would grow up a saint, regardless of how good I was when I was younger.

There is No Man to Have a Child With

Billions of men populate the world. One would think that I would have been able to find the right man for me quite easily. Good men do exist. I believe that. In fact, I really have only associated myself with good, principled men. However, the right man hasn’t found his way to me yet. To be honest, I’ve given up hope on actually finding him. Not only does he have to be the right man, but he also has to be an excellent father figure. That combination is hard to find. Wouldn’t it be great if we could put all men into a big bag, dip our hands in, and just instantly pick the right man? Oh how I wish life were that simple.

Children Will Deter My Career Goals

This is probably one of the most selfish points I will make, but it’s true. The moment a child enters the picture, life changes. All of the plans you’ve made for yourself when you weren’t a mother are put on hold.  Your child comes first.  At this point in my life I am considering making a major career switch. Making the switch won’t be possible with a child in the picture.

Personal Development is an Ongoing Process

Life is a learning process. There is so much more that I think I need to learn before even considering becoming a mother. I want to learn more and live more without the restrictions of a child.

Raising a Child is a Lifelong Commitment

A child isn’t a Barbie doll that you play with for a time and discard when you’re ready. You’re stuck with that human being for life. Your child essentially becomes an extension of who you are. Instilling the right values and morals in your child is no simple feat. Getting that human being ready for the world requires strong resolve and a determination to help him or her live up to the potential you see. You don’t let go of your child when he or she turns 18. You’re stuck with your child for life.

Children are EXPENSIVE

I’m having a hard enough time making ends meet. There is nothing cheap about having children. Money flows like streams of water from parents’ pockets each month. It all begins the moment of inception. Regular visits to the obstetrician cost hundreds of dollars. If you want to deliver the baby at a private hospital, add a couple thousand to that. After the child is born, you have to consider establishing a college fund and meeting the child’s daily needs. Money becomes even tighter.

Children are beautiful blessings. They bring great joy and great pain. Most parents say that they wouldn’t trade their child for anything in the world. The bond between mother and child is unbreakable. Am I willing to take on this lifelong commitment? I’m not quite sure. I do know, however, that if it happens I will try to be the best mother I can be.

Christine is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty On Tap. The views and opinions expressed in Contributing Writer articles reflect those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the site. 

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