10 Signs You’re Not A Night Owl


By Kate

I jokingly refer to myself as a grandma each time I crawl into bed before the sun has officially set…which is often. What can I say? I’m not a night person. In fact, I’ve never been a night person. Even during my college years when everyone around me was pregaming (just typing that makes me feel old) and getting dolled up to go out, it took everything I had to put on a pair of jeans, pull my hair into a ponytail, and make it out the front door without falling asleep on the couch.

Here are 10 signs you’re that not a night owl either:

1. You wake up to a phone screen full of notifications


I set my phone to silent before bed, because, well because I’m really cranky if something wakes me up right after I’ve fallen asleep. That being said, I typically have a string of missed calls and texts the next morning. It’s always slightly embarrassing/kind of awesome when I notice my first missed call came in at 8:04.

2. You’re known as the OP (old person) in your family and friend group


My sister made a point of acknowledging my early bedtime routine during her maid of honor speech at my wedding and my girlfriends regularly lead into their messages with, “I know you’re sleeping, but…” And I’m cool with that. I rock my 5 pm pajamas with pride.

3. You love early bird specials


Few things make me happier than eating Sunday dinner at 4:30. That way my food has time to digest before I hop in bed for a Hallmark Channel movie #LivingTheDream

4. Winter is the worst


As the days get darker, I get sleepier. I swear, it is a scientific correlation. I start acting like a child negotiating bedtime with my husband, difference being that I am pleading to go to bed. At 7:00.

5. Happy hours are your jam


I am no longer 21, therefore, I am no longer willing to head to the bars at 11 o’clock. In fact, that sounds like a punishment. But a Happy Hour on Friday night? Sign me up. Even better? Brunch.

6. You leave big life decisions for the morning


And by big life decisions, I mean literally any life decision. I can hardly pick out an outfit for the next day if it’s past my bedtime.

7. Your nighttime routine starts early


I am legitimately amazed at people who can do things like shower and put away laundry right before bed. If I don’t wash my face early, I’m going to be honest with you, I’m probably not washing my face. I know that’s bad for my skin, my pillowcases, and God knows what else. But if I’m tired, I just don’t care.

8. You record all your shows


Living on the East Coast, half of my favorite shows don’t start until 10 o’clock. I hardly make it to midnight for New Year’s Eve, I’m sure as heck not going to stay up that late for Kiefer Sutherland.

9. Going out sounds good in theory


Like when it’s Tuesday morning and somebody says, “Want to get together on Friday night?” My energy level is high and just thinking about the weekend is making me optimistic, so of course I want to go out on Friday night! That is, until Friday night rolls around and all I really want is a box of pizza on my lap and all those recorded shows playing on my TV.

10. Staying up late requires all the caffeine


When I know I have to do things crazy, like leave my house after dinnertime, I become a walking caffeine advertisement. Before a party last year, I walked into Dunkin Donuts and ordered “the largest size of whatever drink has the most caffeine.” Desperate times call for desperate measures.

{featured image via pexels}

5 thoughts on “10 Signs You’re Not A Night Owl

Comments are closed.