Ask De and Kate: How Soon is Too Soon To Move In With Your Partner?

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By De and Kate

Welcome to another edition of Ask De and Kate, Thirty On Tap’s official advice column. Today’s question comes from reader Moriah who wanted some advice about making the decision to move in with her significant other. Here’s what she had to say!

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I am currently attending post secondary school and living on residence. I am in a relationship with a guy I absolutely love to death and we have been dating for two years. Its a while away, but he wants me to move in with him next year. It will save us both money and we both know we’ll get along. The problem is I’m only 18; I would be 19 if we were to move in. I’m afraid that is too soon to move in with a guy. What are your thoughts? 

–Moriah

Hey Moriah!

Moving in with your boyfriend is definitely a big step, and you’re smart in wanting to be cautious. Living with someone is invariably different than just having sleepovers (even if you’re having sleepovers all the time), and it makes things ten times more messy if you end up parting ways.

That said, there aren’t any rules when it comes to “the right time” for any of those steps. Every couple is different. For one pair, it might make sense to move in together after just a year, while others wait several years before signing a lease together. With that in mind, we’d advise you to do what feels right. If your gut is telling you that it makes the most sense to live together, and that you and your boyfriend will make great roommates, then trust that. If you find that you are hesitating too much, listen to your inner voice. Don’t force yourself into anything just because it’s convenient or less expensive. Trust your intuition and be confident in your choice – and remember, no one can decide what’s right for your relationship but you.

De & Kate


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