“It’s like chasing something we will never reach and missing all the beautiful scenery on the way.” That’s how my sweet friend described perfectionism in an effort to encourage me to stop being so hard on myself and to add in an extra dose of appreciation and presence instead.
She’s right. I know she’s right. And yet, still, I battle with it almost daily. Continue reading
Trigger Warning: The following contains details about sexual assault.
I remember the uncharacteristically warm November night. I remember walking down the street with my winter jacket open. I remember the brand new black-and-white striped sweater I was wearing, so new it hadn’t even been washed yet. I wanted him to see it. I thought he’d find it cool. He was 35, I was 24. I just wanted him to think I was cool. Continue reading
My biggest fear in ever sharing anything deeply personal is that it will be universally unreciprocated. That I will express my darkest thoughts or my biggest insecurities, and then I’ll look to the person sitting across from me for a nod of understanding as they instead gaze back with a bewildered expression. That I’ll lay it all out on a phone call and hear radio silence on the other end. That I’ll dig to the root of what keeps me up at night or disclose what holds me back from going after what I want in life and that I’ll be offered a sort of pitiful sympathy and the number of a good expert to see, rather than empathetic understanding and affirmation. Essentially, that I’ll come to discover my most isolating and unnerving feelings really are as weird, unnatural, and individual as I feared them to be. Continue reading
Dear Siblings,
It’s National Sibling Day, and I was going to write an essay about the importance of siblings or maybe a listicle about how to strengthen your relationship, but instead I decided to write you a letter. I’m not sure why, but it felt right. And I’m trying to do more of the things that just feel right these days.
I don’t know where to begin other than, I love being your sister. Being your sister is the role of a lifetime. I say it often, but I truly believe we won the sibling jackpot. You are all such fantastic, deeply good people in your own ways, and it is a true honor just to know you. Continue reading
Every time I watch Fixer Upper or Flea Market Flip (which is more often than I’d like to admit), I feel a surge of inspiration. I start looking around our rooms and wondering what areas I could renovate. And then, I remember, I’ve actually never renovated a space and that my home improvement skills extend just about as far as painting (details, details).
Still, I’d like to get my hands dirty in the DIY home décor game and aspire to someday be able to transform spaces the way Joanna Gaines does. Since I have to start somewhere, I’ve been making productive use of my Pinterest scrolling time and searching for some relatively simple projects to launch my wannabe hobby. Continue reading
There’s this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke that I’m obsessed with:
“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps someday far in the future, you will live your way into the answers.”
Now I don’t know Rilke, and this might sound like a particularly woo-woo thing to say, but I know without a doubt that he wrote those words especially for me. Somewhere, almost 100 years ago, a young Rilke was channeling a neurotic twenty something woman when he wrote those lines. Well, maybe not. But isn’t that the thing about great writing? It transcends decades and genders and circumstances and snaps something back into place deep inside of you? Continue reading
Funky hair colors have been around for a while, and it’s no secret that these alternative hues are getting more and more trendy. Last year, pastel hair was all the rage, and pretty soon, #grannyhair picked up steam. Of course, as any self-declared unicorn knows, keeping bleached hair healthy isn’t always an easy feat, but it’s worth the battle to be able to show off those colorful locks on Instagram (right?). This spring, however, it’s all about icy hair. Think pastel, but with a shimmery twist. Here are some ideas guaranteed to make you want to run to your local salon, stat. Continue reading
In today’s society, we are in desperate need of more leaders. Not necessarily people with leadership titles, but people who are actually, truly, on the front lines of our schools, workplaces, and communities, striving to make the world a better place for people other than themselves.
If you haven’t heard this call to leadership, you aren’t listening. It’s all over the news and your newsfeed, every time you see someone crying out, “Someone do something.” Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve heard the call, but anxiety wracks your body with doubt and sends you right back under the covers, or, perhaps more commonly, causes you to keep scrolling. Continue reading
