Dear Siblings…

Dear Siblings.jpg

By Jillian Stacia

Dear Siblings,

It’s National Sibling Day, and I was going to write an essay about the importance of siblings or maybe a listicle about how to strengthen your relationship, but instead I decided to write you a letter. I’m not sure why, but it felt right.  And I’m trying to do more of the things that just feel right these days.

I don’t know where to begin other than, I love being your sister. Being your sister is the role of a lifetime. I say it often, but I truly believe we won the sibling jackpot. You are all such fantastic, deeply good people in your own ways, and it is a true honor just to know you.

Because I’m the oldest, I got a first row seat to watching you grow up. And it’s mind blowing to see the wonderful people you’ve become. You care about things. You show up for people. You honor your own truth. You get up every morning and do your best. I can’t tell you how proud I am. I can’t believe I have six siblings and not one of them has turned out to be an asshole. We beat the odds, you guys. We beat the odds.

I hope we can always remember to prioritize our friendship. I truly believe that being intentional is the key to sustaining any relationship. Love isn’t enough. Thinking about someone isn’t enough. Everything boils down to action. We have to be intentional with our friendship. We can’t just put them on auto-pilot or life will get in the way. Suddenly days will go by, weeks, months, years, and we’ll realize we haven’t spoken. We’ll forget what each other’s laughs sound like. We’ll become comfortable with the distance.

I don’t want us to be the kind of siblings that only call each other when something bad happens. Or even something good. I want us to be the kind of siblings that just pick up the phone and talk about life. To vent about that rude thing your boss said. To talk about how the Ravens are doing. To discuss the new song on the radio that reminds you of the Violent Femmes.

The thing about relationships is that they can’t live on the past alone. We have a whole lifetime of memories together, but that won’t sustain us forever. We’ve got to create new stories. We’ve got to write the next chapter. And we’ve got to remember to include each other in the narrative.

We’re getting older (especially me). You’re all going your own way and making your own path, and I’m so excited for you and your journey. Please don’t settle. Please don’t play it safe. Please go after the one thing that won’t leave your heart alone. It might not make sense to anyone else. Please be brave enough to go after it anyway.

And if that thing leads you far away, if you find yourself building huts in Africa or surfing in Hawaii, that’s okay. We don’t need to be close in proximity to be close in our hearts. We can show up for each other from separate countries. We can still share our lives without a shared location.

There’s something special about growing up with someone. You have the same memories, the same shared experiences, the same collective journey. You’ve seen each other. Thank you for seeing me. You’ve seen my flaws and my strengths and my joys and my sorrows and you never stopped believing in me. That is a rare thing. That is a sibling thing.

Our family is big and loud and crazy, but we are also full of love. We are overflowing with love. We were taught that love multiplies and laughter is magic and eating copious amounts of carbs is essential to any celebration. Remember this, because you’ll forget who you are many times as you grow up. This is who you are, at your core. These are your roots. Remember them. And if you don’t, I’ll remind you.

The best part of having lots of siblings? You’re never alone. Not ever. You’ve got a whole team of people rooting for you. We’re all on your side. We all love you. We all want you to succeed.

Now go out there and do it. Just remember to call me once in a while.

I love you,


Jillian is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty on Tap. To apply to become a Contributing Writer, please click HERE.

{featured image via unsplash}


4 thoughts on “Dear Siblings…

  1. Hilary Tan says:

    This article moved me but not in the ways you might think. Unlike you, I don’t have any siblings. I wish there was a National Only Child Day, but the only children don’t stand a chance to compete for a special day of recognition. In a few ways, I envy you and what you have. I don’t get to experience what it’s like having siblings. With these feelings, it breeds jealousy, saddness, anger etc. because unlike you I feel alone and don’t have a loud, crazy family. I want to like this post, I really do but I cannot bring myself to click the “like” button. This does not mean that I don’t acknowledge it or enjoyed reading your post. This does not mean that you haven’t received proper validation from me. It just means that your post tapped into different feelings, the mere opposite of what others are feeling. Just thought I would throw this out there for anyone else feeling a bit “left out” on National Siblings Day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. thelongview says:

    This is such a beautiful letter! I love the sentiments expressed, and especially the picture of you and your siblings that emerges from the letter. I am forwarding it to my brother, I wish my sister were alive to send it to.

    Liked by 1 person

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