20 Foolproof Steps to Working Out in the Third Trimester of Pregnancy

20 Foolproof Steps to Working Out in the Third Trimester of Pregnancy.jpeg

By Jillian Stacia

We all know that working out requires a certain level of motivation. And exercising while pregnant is particularly challenging. But working out in the third trimester? That’s something else entirely.

That’s why we created this 20-step exercise regimen for the extremely pregnant. It’s the ideal program for those dealing with heartburn, back pain, and frequent urination. For best results, skip working out altogether and watch Netflix instead.

Step 1: Make the reluctant decision to turn off Netflix and work out.  Feel immediate regret.

Step 2: Find something to wear. Wave hello to the leggings and tank tops that no longer fit as you dig through your closet. Settle on a pair of your husband’s old gym shorts with a missing elastic band. Give up on finding a shirt and just go with a sports bra instead.

Step 3: Determine what kind of workout you want to do. The gym is obviously out. Hiking takes you too far away from the bathroom. Strength conditioning and abs are a definite no go. Settle on everyone’s favorite piece of home gym equipment- the treadmill.

Step 4: Walk at a pace slower than you thought was humanly possible. Wonder how it is possible to sweat so much while barely moving.

Step 5: Soldier on for five minutes. Stop to pee.

Step 6: Soldier on for seven minutes. Stop to pee.

Step 7: Soldier on for ten minutes. Stop to pee.

Step 8: Soldier on for two minutes. Stop to adjust sports bra.

Step 9: Begin to feel pain in lower back.

Step 10: Start chafing from your sports bra. Curse the man who did this to you.

Step 11: Check timer. Twenty-five minutes have passed. Give self a motivational pep talk to continue.

Step 12: Stop walking thirty seconds later. Wipe sweat from eyes. Feel like you just ran a marathon.

Step 13: Check calorie count on treadmill.

Step 14: 160 calories. Consider death.

Step 15: Head to kitchen to get more water.

Step 16: Stop and eat a cookie.

Step 17: Eat another cookie.

Step 18:  Regain all 160 calories in less than two minutes

Step 19: Wipe off sweat with a paper towel.

Step 20: Turn on Netflix. Try again tomorrow.

Jillian is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty on Tap. To apply to become a Contributing Writer, please click here.

{featured image via pexels}