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Vanessa Sams: Contributor Profile

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Vanessa is a BU grad who is currently working on being an adult. She is mostly motivated by traveling opportunities, new scientific discoveries, and fashion. Places Vanessa can be found this year will include libraries, museums, gaming conventions, and road trips. Her favorite number is zero. Her favorite book is Jane Eyre.

Articles By Vanessa:

 To All The Pregnant Ladies Who Are Officially Over Unsolicited Advice

How To Survive Your First Music Festival

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“Some women don’t ever get to a place where they love their bodies. For some of us, it’s impossible. Personally speaking, I know body positivity is an unattainable goal, which is why I’m striving for body neutrality instead. To get to a place where I look in the mirror and don’t think anything bad or anything good. To get to a place where I put on clothes and don’t think about how they fit, a place where I get weighed at the doctor’s office and don’t consider the number for the rest of the day. As an eating disorder survivor, I have a torrid history with my body. I can remember setting “goal weights” in college, doodling digits in my journal and thinking that if I reached that number, I’d be happy with my body forever. I can also remember getting to those numbers and seeing no difference when I looked in the mirror, thinking that I still had dozens of pounds to lose. There was never a point when I observed my reflection and thought: I did it. I like how I look now. There was never a point when I was satisfied. The message behind loving your body is a well-intended one, but it’s not for everyone. And sometimes I feel like there’s this overwhelming pressure on social media, a heavy voice booming over a loudspeaker, yelling: “YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF! YOU MUST REALIZE EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL! YOU MUST YOU MUST YOU MUST.” In a way, this pressure is just as bad as the pressure to “bounce back” after birth because for some people, it feels so far away, a destination that’s too distant to ever reach. The truth is, some of us will never truly believe these things about ourselves. And that’s why the next wave of body image that needs to be normalized is the idea that it’s actually OK not to love your body, that it’s OK to be “just fine” with it instead of overcome with pride. For some of us, that’s the end goal. Because it’s the best that we can do.” Words via @deelizabeth9 | ‘When “Body Neutrality” Is The Best That You Can Do’ Image via @unsplash #bodyimage #bodyneutrality #selfacceptance #bodypositivity #eatingdisorderrecovery #postpartumbody #realtalk
“Change is hard. Even when change is good, when it is right, when it aligns with your soul and your dreams and your vision, it is so very hard. Because we are creatures of habit. And things like routine and structure are comforting. It’s nice to know what to expect. But it still shocks me when I brush up against the painfulness of change. I trick myself into thinking that discomfort is a sign that I’m on the wrong track. It makes me doubt myself, or second guess my decisions. I get frustrated that it’s not easier. I question my motives, my gratitude, my resiliency. I assume it’s my own weakness or lack of devotion that’s responsible for all this discomfort. I forget the fact that change is hard because change is hard. Always. For everyone. No matter what. When you jump into a pool, you are shocked by the coolness of the water. No matter how hot it is or how ready you are to swim, the water is biting and cold and all consuming. It doesn’t matter that you’ve jumped into pools your entire life, your body is still shocked by the experience. This is how it is with change. It’s a shock to the system. Every. Single. Time. Even when you want it. Even when you prepare for it. Even when you know it’s coming. It’s still shocking. That’s not a reflection of you. That’s the definition of change. That’s part of the deal. But eventually? You fight through the discomfort. You warm up slowly. You adapt. Your body acclimates. And you swim.” Words via @jillianstacia | ‘Some Thoughts On Change’ Image via @pexelsphotos #change #changeisgood #changeishard #wisdom #life #lifelessons #reallife #realtalk #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #write #writers #writing #ontaptoday
“Maybe trying to savor the moment is a fool’s errand, a wild goose chase that will always leave you feeling somewhat lost. Maybe we’ll always want to go back, no matter how much we’re appreciating what we have now. Maybe that’s the price of having good memories, of living a life filled with a sibling you love, with friends you love, with a baby you love that will grow into a little girl you love. Maybe that’s the bargain we make when we choose to be happy, when we choose to let other people in: We agree that it won’t always be the way it is today. We agree that one day, we’ll miss all of this. We agree that one day, we’ll be sad, drowning in memories and in nostalgia, looking backwards because that’s all there is left. But right now, there’s a backwards, a forwards, and a today. Right now, these are experiences, not memories. Right now is where we are.” Words via @deelizabeth9 | ‘The Price You Pay When You’re Always Trying To Live In The Moment’ Image via @unsplash #wednesdaywisdom #liveinthemoment #nostalgia #life #reallife #realtalk #creatingmemories #bepresent
“Am I ready physically? Mentally? Emotionally? To do this thing I’ve never done with this person I’ve never met? To tackle a new, uncharted chapter of life? That’s a loaded question. One that, in my most positive mindset, leaves me exclaiming, “Yes! I’m so excited.” In my most fearful mindset, leaves me muttering, “Oh my God. Not yet.” And in my most common, honest mindset, leaves me pondering, “I think so?” (a la, “I’m Ron Burgundy?”) The truth is, I’ve struggled with my apprehension. In ways, I’ve felt like a “bad mom” already for not feeling more equipped and confident in my parenting abilities. For questioning my maternal instincts. For feeling unqualified in the ways that matter most. I’ve felt guilty that I haven’t been able to respond with an enthusiastic “100%” when asked if I’m prepared to do what I’m essentially waiting in line to do. Yet, beyond the roaring fear and shame is a quiet, knowing voice inside me, reminding me of all the other times that I didn’t know. That I wasn’t sure. That I was scared and uncertain. That I didn’t have the answers and I couldn’t see the future. And that I stepped up anyway, encouraging my faith to be greater than my fear. I write this for myself. For the 2 a.m. sleepy eyed and restless struggle that’s bound to come. For the times I feel like I’m failing. For reassurance in the midst of doubt. I write it for you. For whatever challenges you’re facing and whatever unknowns you’re experiencing. For courage in the midst of uncertainty. But mostly, I write it for him. For the baby still inside of me, who will someday feel the same familiar mix of excitement and nervousness, eagerness and reluctance, and trust and trepidation that we all encounter from time to time. I write it to remind him that it’s okay to be scared, that it’s human to feel all the feels, and that readiness doesn’t always come in the bold and self-assured way that we hope it will. Sometimes it comes as a leap of faith and a figuring it out as you go. And that’s okay too.” Words via @katekole | ‘Are You Ready?’ Image via @pexelsphotos #pregnant #pregnancy #37weekspregnant #thirdtrimester #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #momlife #realtalk
“I never knew I’d be so exhausted from her getting into everything all day and constantly trying to divert her attention and keep her occupied and teach her all the things of life and developing. That some days I’d be wishing it was nap time just to get a bit of a breather or that other days I’d wish she’d never grow up because I love every single cuddle she gives. I never knew I’d have so much anxiety. So many moments of self doubt. Of forgetfulness and tears. Moments of being completely overwhelmed by it all. Overwhelmed by the never ending demand of it but also overwhelmed by how much love I have for her. I never knew that, because of her, I’d be a better person. That I’d strive to live all of life’s adventures with her or that she’d give me purpose and make my life complete. I never knew that when she’s crawling all over me while we’re sitting on the floor playing or when I’ve walked away and come back in the room and her face lights up that I could ever love her more than I already do but she proves me wrong each and every day.” Words via Chelsea O’Neal | ‘The Things I Never Knew Before Becoming A Mom’ Image via @unsplash #momlife #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhooduncensored #motherhoodunfiltered #realtalk #reallife #parenting #parenthood
“Don’t focus on loving your body, per se – your engorged breasts, your love handles, the clumps of hair falling from your head (thanks, hormones). Instead, focus on gratitude for all every single miraculous feat your body has done and continues to do. When you look in the mirror at under-eye circles darker than the onyx of your most dramatic eyeliner, don’t frantically buy the most expensive concealer to hide them. Bask in the joy of spending moment after moment smiling when your little one smiles or when you rock her to sleep in the quiet of the night. When your pre-baby jeans just won’t zip up, don’t hang them in your closet front and center as the proverbial carrot. Donate them! They are from a bygone era, and let me tell you a secret – high-wasted, stretchy jeans are everything. Buy some new ones that flatter and fit your curves. Whatever you do, don’t listen to the critics. You’re a mom, so yes, you’re different now. You look different and your priorities have changed immensely. You’re a warrior, and you’re beautiful for filling such a role.” Words via @cupofcatherine | ‘We Are Not Duchess Kate - And That’s Okay’ Image via @unsplash #motherhood #momlife #comparisonisthethiefofjoy #confidence #selflove #gratitude #priorities #warrior

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Recent Articles

  • When “Body Neutrality” Is the Best That You Can Do
  • Some Thoughts On Change
  • The Price You Pay When You’re Always Trying to Live in the Moment
  • Are You Ready?
  • The Things I Never Knew Before Becoming A Mom
  • How Moms Are Simultaneously Pressured to Be “Perfect” and “Real” Online
  • The Best Cruelty-Free Drugstore Beauty Dupes

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